Sheri and I just celebrated our 29th anniversary. I’m not surprised by that. We intend to stay married until we die. But I am amazed at how we have managed to accomplish it. You see, for most of our marriage I have been on the road. Now, we have been through a lot, just like all married couples. But when you add into the mix the distance of the road, well, that just makes those times even harder to get through and stay together. Fortunately, we have kept our marriage intact. In fact, it’s better today than it has ever been.
Married life can be good, or, it can be bad. It really depends on you, not your spouse. Sure, we help each other through tough times. But if you think it’s 50/50, you have lost. I mean, we all have our ups and downs. I get grumpy too often. And I apologize for that when I do. I also apologize for almost everything I do wrong, at least when I recognize I did wrong. And the times I don’t, she let’s me know, and I apologize to her for those too. Even if I think I didn’t do any wrong.
It’s simple. You have to give more than you take from your wife, more than anybody else in your life. More than ANYONE else. That means you let her take care of things at home while you are away on the road and never, ever, give her the riot act over anything. When you get angry, check yourself. That can be really tough at times. I know. Life out there really sucks most of the time. And when you are most frustrated with it, that’s when things go wrong back home. That’s when she will call to explain her decision because she couldn’t reach you for your help. I have learned that she made the best decision she could possibly make, so shut up if you think it was the wrong one. And thank her for taking care of the problem. If it sets you back financially, well, she knew that too at the time. So give her a break, because women do not like unstable financial situations. She didn’t make that decision without considering that too. And believe me, I have been a complete ass and done this all wrong a few times. Thank God she has put up with me. I advise you to not be that ass.
Now, there are no two couples alike. We all have so many different quirks and problems. But all of us do want the same thing, a happy marriage. And one of the ways I have found to have that is to always be nice to your spouse. After all, she is the most important person you have in your life. Tell her you love her every time you speak on the phone. And talk on that phone a few times a day if you can. Most days we do, some days it’s just once for a minute or two. But we always tell each other we love each other. Always. Even when we’re (I am) grumpy. And if a call is impossible, well there’s no excuse for not texting it.
Your marriage is the most, and on the top, relationship you will ever have. Give it your utmost attention. Think about what you are going to say before you say it anytime you are talking with her. She will give you a lot of room to vent, more than anyone else in the world will. But also know that while you are doing that, you are making her day a real bummer. I still have to check myself when I get on my box. Then I say I’m sorry when I’m done, and try to remember to thank her for listening to my rant.
Take care of your relationship. Like it’s the most important thing in your life. Because it is.